Tuesday’s Touchdown Take: September 13, 2011

I have watched more football, than a Kardashian scouting ex-husbands in the last couple of weeks, and I feel like a lottery winner on Thanksgiving. Okay maybe not that good, but it’s been pretty amazing football.First and foremost I have to address my friends who root for the Dawgs, or “F.U.F’s Females,” I was totally wrong over the summer when I told any of you who would listen that UGA was going to have a good year. I sincerely thought that there would be a change that came over this team, and the Dawgs would finally stop being soft as my son’s excrement, (he’ll be two this Saturday). I was more wrong than “Dewey Wins.”

It’s the same soft, fundamentally unsound team that I’ve seen for the last four years. I’ve been saying for years that the Dawgs are all bark no bite, and have been chastised and deemed a bigger hater than an extra in the “Haters’ Ball” Chappelle Show skit. No I’m not a hater; I just know what I’m talking about.

My wife brought up and interesting point to me when she said,

“You would think they would listen to you when you’re the one that actually played football.”

I responded,

“You’re right, I did play football. None of them did.”

The problem is, they are fans and don’t have the experience of being around a football team. I know what a soft, team that cares more about being the B.M.O.C. than winning football games. That’s what the Dawgs are. A bunch of guys worried about going to “the league” and not a team trying to win championships.

In national college news, I have to admit, that the Michigan Vs. Notre Dame game was “REDONKULOUS.” Wow, Denard “Shoelace” Robinson had one of the most marvelous fourth quarters I’ve ever seen. He was throwing bombs on the Irish like they were the IRA. And as much as I love to see the “Domed Ones” dome it busted in, the Leprechauns just ran out of luck. I normally don’t like games where defenses are harder to find than Waldo, but three touchdowns scored in the final 1:12 of a game just makes for good television.

Now on to my beloved Atlanta Falcons, that was a travesty, but not surprising. I will not have the football pulled from me any longer. I’ll root for them to win, but I will not be upset when they lose, because well, that’s what they do. “They are who we thought they were,” Dennis Green.

My fantasy football teams are 2-0, with two decisive victories. Let’s just say that I have Aaron Rodgers in one league, Tom Brady in the other, and Greg Jennings and Wes Welker in both. Yes “The Dirty Pimps” because I wish I could be, “Big Pimpin” like Jay-Z, and “Team SuperCrunk,” because well, that’s an awesome fantasy football team, are proving that I just might know a little bit about what I’m talking about.