Super Tuesday’s Too Soon Super Thoughts

With it being Super Tuesday I figured I’d dispense some super thoughts. First things first, as a die hard Falcons fan, I must say that I’m supremely super excited that the Falcons franchised Brent Grimes, a.k.a. “Optimist Grimey.” I know there were some fans skeptical of this move, because we don’t want to spend so much money on a sub par secondary. However, Grimey is one of the best corners in the league, and should not be penalized because Dunta “Robbing the Falcons Blind” Robinson is falling shorter of expectations than Verne Troyer in rehab.

The NFL is a PASSING LEAGUE, and it just doesn’t make sense to let a guy go from the defense who actually DEFENDS PASSES, and gets his hands on more quarterbacks’ balls than the ball boys (this a family site get your mind out of the gutter). Just because Grimey is of leprechaun stature, doesn’t mean all his interceptions are “Lucky Charms.” This was a scarecrow move, no brainer. Plus the “Birds” have until July 15th to get long term deal worked out, which I sincerely hope that we do, so the 10 million dollar price tag that Grimey currently accounts for, may not be the one the same going into the season. Hello Mario Williams, I’m not saying, I’m just saying.

The Falcons now have to see if they could bring back John “The Predator” Abraham, and Curtis “The 5-0” Lofton, and Harry “Beau Bach Loves Me” Douglas at reasonable prices. The rest of our free agents can “kick rocks” like David Beckham at Whitney’s house, too soon?

The rest of our free agents are marginal at best, and the holes on both lines have to be addressed with free agents and the few draft picks we have. Sam Baker is a bust, plain and simple. Peria Jerry would be a pariah in Atlanta if anybody knew who he was; no one does because his name is never called on Sundays. It’s like he’s a ghost: he needs to be like the wind and blow out of town, dirty dancing down the road to some other team’s house, too soon?

Now on the biggest story in the NFL right now, or as I like to say, the one story that actually allowed the pundits to ponder something other than Peyton, the Bountiful Boba Fetts. Most people call them the New Orleans Saints. Now that Greg Williams’ injury incentive initiative, has been Janet Jacksoned, I hope all those, “I root for the Saints because I feel for bad for them, blah blah blah,” fans jump on some other bandwagon and turn around and boo them for the dirty thugs there actually are.

I must say that I hope that Goodell brings the hammer down harder than Thor, not because I think that what the Boba Fetts did was all that horrible, nor or am I naïve enough to think they were the only ones with such a program. I just want nothing but bad things to happen to the Boba Fetts, in a related note, F.U.F.

While I’ll admit that whatever punishment that Goodell wields, which are rumored to be very severe, will be hypocritical since, Bill Bellicheat’s seven years of cheating resulting in him missing no games and the Patriots losing only one first round pick, in a yet another year that New England had two. I severely hope that Goodell rains down his wrath like a hurricane, too soon?

More bad news for the Boba Fetts, Drew Brees is reportedly “livid” about being franchised. Pause for my “Perfect Strangers” happy dance, under 30 crowd just Google it. Nothing would make me happier, outside of F.U.F. never winning another game, match, event “ever, ever, ever,” than for Brees to bounce on the Boba Fetts like a Bobby Brown check, what he’ still alive, barely. I’m begging the Boba Fetts to play hard ball with Brees, so that he can leave and the paper bags can come back out, never too soon for that, I really don’t like those people.

Now I know some people are thinking, “Wow that’s a lot of football talk for March, doesn’t he know the tournament is coming up?” To answer that question, of course I know its coming up, but I must confess, I don’t care all that much. I’ve never been a big college basketball fan, I’ve never filled out a bracket, and I usually don’t watch the tournament until the “Sweet Sixteen” round. That being said, I was happy that Kentucky, as they say in my hometown, “beat the brakes off” F.U.F. I actually could watch the Gators lose in tidily winks. If I had to pick a team to win it all, I’d go with Kentucky, of course next year the Wildcats would probably have to vacate the title, too soon? No of course its not too soon, he hasn’t been caught yet, or is it again, yet?

My last super thought of Super Tuesday isn’t actually a thought, but more of a question. As a bona fide comic book nerd, should I be proud or concerned that my two year old son can easily, and with no hesitation, point out “Captain America,” “Spider Man,” “Iron Man,” “Superman” and “The Incredible Hulk,” but not the letters of the alphabet? On a side note, one does not truly know comedy until one tries to explain to a two year old that, “No that’s not Superman on daddy’s shirt, that’s Wolverine,” while the aforementioned two year old, convinced that he is absolutely correct, argues loudly back, “No daddy that’s Superman,” repeatedly in the middle of “Home Depot.”