“Total Recall” Totally Rocks: Three Thumbs Up

Community, Opinion

This is not your daddy’s “Total Recall.” To paraphrase Petino’s press address, when pressed about his famous press’ lack of impression on the NBA,

“Arnold Schawarzenegger is not walking through that door.”

First and foremost I must say that Total Recall gets three thumbs up, pun intended.

SPOILER ALERT: I’ll just go ahead and get it out of the way, yes,

“You’re gonna wish you had three hands.”

Now that I’ve covered the most pressing issue at the forefront of most nerd minds; it’s time for the review.

The film is set in the later part of the 21st century, and war has devastated the planet, making most of the planet inhabitable. The world’s population lives in two places, “The Republic of Great Britain” obviously located in Great Britain, and “The Colony” which is current day Australia. The two land masses are connected by a tube, where people travel through the center of the earth to reach the other side.

I liked this movie a great deal; however, I had a hard time believing that, even if one could design a container able to withstand the heat of the earth’s core, it would be possible to actually build a tube through the core. How did the workers construct it? How does anyone get close enough to the core to build the tube, let alone build through it?

Impossible tube aside, Total Recall’s future had some nice gadgets, including hand phones that could turn into video chats simply by touching glass; very cool.

In keeping with my steadfast rule of not being the guy who tells the whole movie while providing a review, I find it hard to truly discuss the film without giving key plot points away; however, here’s a brief synopsis.

Colin Farrell plays Doug Quaid, a working “Colony” stiff, who has nightmares about being captured and feels that something is missing from his life. He goes to a place called Rekall where one can acquire fake memories. There’s one caveat to the fake memories, one can not have fake memories that mirrors one’s own life.

Quaid of course picks a spy adventure, and all Hades breaks loose, like Richard Pryor smoking crack on Demeter’s doorstep: too soon?

SPOILER ALERT: Kate Beckinsale plays Quaid’s fake wife, many will remember this role was originally played by Sharon Stone, before she bared her most basic of instincts. Jessica Biel plays his actually love interest. I fear that I may have given away too much; however, I had to because Biel and Beckinsale battle in one of the best chick fights I’ve ever seen.

I thoroughly enjoyed the fast pace of the film, and the foreshadowing in the first five minutes. Watch carefully, and Farrell’s identity should not be news to you.

There’s flying car chases, more than enough explosions, and killer robots. Not much not to like there, plus did I mention, CHICK FIGHT? There’s also a few other nods to the original version that old school fans will enjoy.

Yes, the new updated version will not disappoint fans new and old. I actually think this version is better than the old version, blasphemy to some; however, even the 92 Dream Team didn’t beat anybody by 83 points, 156-73: no words, Nigeria, no words.

In fact the movie was so good, that it brought forth this comment from one of the nerd crew veterans, Swamp Thang.

“I actually think it might have been the best movie I’ve seen this summer. Don’t get me wrong “Avengers” was awesome and of course “The Dark Knight (Rises),” but they had Iron Man and Batman and all that goes into to it. But this was probably the best one that didn’t have all those other factors.”

He had a point, if one was to discount “The Avengers,” and “The Dark Knight Rises,” as unfair competition, due to the automatic bump in appeal, anticipation, and hype that comes with a superhero movie, Total Recall has an argument for best of the summer movie.

I can’t say that “The Amazing Spiderman”was head and shoulders abobe than Total Recall, despite the aforementioned superhero clause, although 3-D does push Peter Parker past in my book.

The film had a very “Bourne Identity,” “Equilibrium” feel to it. Ferrell’s fight to regain his memory, mixed with secret agents and resistance fighters, makes for a good blend. All in all, “Total Recall” totally rocks, plus, THERE’S THREE OF THEM!!!!

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